WARNING: Do Not Buy This Training If:

1. You glean a deep sense of meaning from smiling dutifully at yet another of your supervisors, witless jokes.

2. You think that laughter, happiness and in any way attempting to live a fulfilling life are vastly overrated, and likely just a corporate conspiracy designed to subjugate you (likely distributed via those chemtrails).

3. You enjoy training that confronts you with a bewildering panoply of nifty account suggestions and ideas, instead of getting a step by step, “idiot-proof” formula that even your mother-in-law would have a hard time fucking up.

4. You think that any level of work is just all too much, preferring to “make the smart bet”, sit on your fat ass, and exclaim that “The Bitcoin price will bounce back any day now and I’ll be rich”, without a hint of parody.

You should probably buy this product if:

1. You’re not an insufferable tosser like the one described above.

2. The unbearable torment of following your parents sound career advice is finally too much and you’re ready to strike out on your own, finally working towards a life YOU want.

3. You want a system that can make you money while you fill your time with fun stuff, you know; climbing mountains, learning to salsa, or sitting in your clauset wearing a tin foil hat and munching on gummy worms.

4. You want to get an utterly unfair advantage over all the competition by using uniquely powerful and scaleable strategies.

5. You’re crazy busy so NEED the biggest results for the least time invested. Perhaps by completely automating your marketing and multiplying it across tens or hundreds of accounts? Interesting thought…

P.S.

If for some bizarre reason you’ve opted to skip reading the page, in hopes of finding some neat little summary here, well 1. You’re the worst. 2. Ughh fine:

• These courses cover EVERYTHING you need, A-Z to get colossal amounts of traffic to your website.

• I’m really talking a lot. You can’t not make money from this much traffic.

• You’ll build a massive Instagram following which you can use to get free travel opportunities or pick up chicks with really skewed ideas about success in da klurb.

• You’ll be a master of viral, able to use it to conquer other platforms.

• You’ll achieve all of this with a system that you can automate allowing you to “work” less and have fun more.

No catch. No gimmicks.

If you have zero control over your impulse buying, I’ll give you a full refund within 30 days.

If you actually intend to try the whole system, rest assured that I’m so confident it works, that I’ll double refund you if you can’t get success within 6 months.

In 6 months you could be living your dream life, chilling in infinity pools over rice paddies in Bali, or you can still be stuck in your cold miserable flat, with your soul-destroying job, wondering “what if”.

P.S.S

Fuck, okay, here goes the secret weapon.

I’ve almost exhausted my arsenal with the smug sales letter thinly veiled as a motivational blog post. If it hasn’t convinced you to buy Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin, this sure will.

BE WARNED: This contains a litany of devious, subtle and irresistible psychological warfare tactics, guaranteed to persuade even the most resistant to cough up the cash…

WARNING: Do Not Buy This Training If:

1. You glean a deep sense of meaning from smiling dutifully at yet another of your supervisors, witless jokes.

2. You think that laughter, happiness and in any way attempting to live a fulfilling life are vastly overrated, and likely just a corporate conspiracy designed to subjugate you (likely distributed via those chemtrails).

3. You enjoy training that confronts you with a bewildering panoply of nifty account suggestions and ideas, instead of getting a step by step, “idiot-proof” formula that even your mother-in-law would have a hard time fucking up.

4. You think that any level of work is just all too much, preferring to “make the smart bet”, sit on your fat ass, and exclaim that “The Bitcoin price will bounce back any day now and I’ll be rich”, without a hint of parody.

You should probably buy this product if:

1. You’re not an insufferable tosser like the one described above.

2. The unbearable torment of following your parents sound career advice is finally too much and you’re ready to strike out on your own, finally working towards a life YOU want.

3. You want a system that can make you money while you fill your time with fun stuff, you know; climbing mountains, learning to salsa, or sitting in your clauset wearing a tin foil hat and munching on gummy worms.

4. You want to get an utterly unfair advantage over all the competition by using uniquely powerful and scaleable strategies.

5. You’re crazy busy so NEED the biggest results for the least time invested. Perhaps by completely automating your marketing and multiplying it across tens or hundreds of accounts? Interesting thought…

P.S.

If for some bizarre reason you’ve opted to skip reading the page, in hopes of finding some neat little summary here, well 1. You’re the worst. 2. Ughh fine:

• These courses cover EVERYTHING you need, A-Z to get colossal amounts of traffic to your website.

• I’m really talking a lot. You can’t not make money from this much traffic.

• You’ll build a massive Instagram following which you can use to get free travel opportunities or pick up chicks with really skewed ideas about success in da klurb.

• You’ll be a master of viral, able to use it to conquer other platforms.

• You’ll achieve all of this with a system that you can automate allowing you to “work” less and have fun more.

No catch. No gimmicks.

If you have zero control over your impulse buying, I’ll give you a full refund within 30 days.

If you actually intend to try the whole system, rest assured that I’m so confident it works, that I’ll double refund you if you can’t get success within 6 months.

In 6 months you could be living your dream life, chilling in infinity pools over rice paddies in Bali, or you can still be stuck in your cold miserable flat, with your soul-destroying job, wondering “what if”.

P.S.S

Fuck, okay, here goes the secret weapon.

I’ve almost exhausted my arsenal with the smug sales letter thinly veiled as a motivational blog post. If it hasn’t convinced you to buy Insta Ballin and Pinterest Pimpin, this sure will.

BE WARNED: This contains a litany of devious, subtle and irresistible psychological warfare tactics, guaranteed to persuade even the most resistant to cough up the cash…